Tag Archives: grief

Supporting Your Partner After They Have Lost a Parent

The pain of losing a parent is one that cannot be understated, and can only truly be understood once you have experienced it for yourself. It is an overwhelming and challenging time, and a time when you need your loved ones to be supportive, helpful and a positive influence. You can quickly find yourself swamped with responsibilities, and you will need your partner to be there for you most of all.

 

For a partner, seeing their loved one going through such a traumatic experience can be tough. You can feel helpless and separated from them, and this can lead to you taking a backward step when you should be moving forward to take care of them. Here are some useful tips on how to support a partner in the aftermath of them losing a parent.

 

Be There

The most obvious, and not to mention vital, advice anybody can give when dealing with a partner’s grief is just to be there. You can be as forthcoming or in the background as you like with your support, but your partner should be well aware that you are there to be a shoulder to cry on, or to rely upon for any tasks that they may not be feeling up to doing. Simple tasks such as making phone calls and informing friends and family are enough. It’s incredible how much time and energy you can save your partner by doing this, as it will save them having to keep going through their grief when they should be processing it.

 

Listen

At such a difficult time, it can be easy to smother your partner or become distant as you are unsure just how much your partner wants you around. The best course of action in this instance is simply to listen to what they have to say. If they want to be left alone, give them a little space, and at the same time, if they need you, do lend your support in any way, whether it is emotional support or some tasks need doing. Be prepared to listen and be as helpful as you can. They will thank you for it as time passes and their grief begins to settle.

 

Take Them Out of Themselves for a While

 

Once you are in a position to know that your partner is ready to go out and face the outside world, it is a good idea to take them out of themselves for a while. It could mean anything from visiting a museum to having a day out at the zoo, but it definitely needs to be fun and constructive. Something challenging like the Escape Room Milwaukee is popular for would be good. It’s a fun and challenging exercise where you team up to solve mysteries and tasks, within a 60-minute time limit. It could be a great way to get them smiling again while being challenging enough to get them to concentrate on something other than their loss.

 

Help Them To Focus

 

Being a supportive partner is much more than being an arm around a shoulder, it is about being able to help your grieving partner to focus on what needs doing in the aftermath of losing a parent. For example, if your mother or father is now widowed, you can steer your partner towards helping them arrange the funeral, organize their finances and any insurance policies that need to be looked at, and help them focus on what needs to be done in the aftermath. It can be tricky and difficult, but it’s essential that grief doesn’t take over their life.

 

Encouragement for Those Dealing With the Loss of a Loved One

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My Dear Friends,

Have you ever experienced the difficulty of saying goodbye to someone you love due to their unfortunate passing? I have gone through many difficult times in my life, but none of them seemed to be as tough as dealing with the tragic loss of my father at the young age of 56. His devotion to our family and to my mother was something to be extremely proud of. It pained me to see my sweet mom go through such a rough week of sadness and torment as we discovered my father had pretty much known he was not going to last much longer with his terrible heart disease and congestive heart failure symptoms. He had many heart attacks over the years that he survived (dad was a fighter thank goodness) and he even underwent open-heart surgery several years before. He outlived the age of his parents who both died of heart issues as well from what I can remember.  Even though we soon realized my father knew he was going to die soon, our sadness turned to a smile as we knew that these were his last acts of love and attempt to take care of his family before he was gone.

As I helped my mother and other relatives who came down to assist us during this time of loss, I found myself reflecting on the last few days of his life and the things he did to protect, love and care for his family’s needs. He had purchased a computer for my youngest brother going to college, a smart phone (which back then was a very big deal) for me as an early birthday gift (a full month early), and had made a point to share with me that if anything ever happened to him that his stereo sound system was to go to my other brother. I didn’t think much of it at the time, but now I knew he was planning ahead knowing he wasn’t feeling well all along.

I remember he asked for a banana split from Dairy Queen the night before his passing…his last favorite wish of what to eat I guess. It may be difficult to share these thoughts right now, but I know that when we look at loss of a loved one as a time of reflection and joy in who they were as an individual and a treasure of wisdom and happiness to our lives while they were with us, we can see fingerprints of other ways they arranged to still touch our lives and hearts even today. For me, it will be almost 10 years since my father passed away and went home to be with the Lord, but overall – it has been a constant source of joy to know how much he loved us and that he wanted us to remember him in the gift-giving mood and spirit of providing for his family as he always had.

I miss him dearly year after year, but this year – somehow – it’s different. I now have two additional children that my father did not get to enjoy the pleasure of meeting in person, but as I watch their smiling faces and share stories with them of their grandfather – I have no doubt how happy he must be for me and my husband in having these precious gifts from God. I can’t wait to introduce him to them one day in Heaven.

Dealing with loss of a loved one is always going to be painful, but it’s the perspective and attitude we take in coping with that loss as the days, weeks, months, and years go by that can change us into a stronger, and more compassionate person in the long run. I can share with you numerous stories of how God has had me cross paths with someone dealing with a similar loss. It is at these moments when they needed a listening ear, a shoulder to cry on, a friend to pray with, and an encourager to bring them into a state of reflection and peace in knowing their loved one is no longer in pain, and that it helps remembering what a gift their life truly was to their lives.

Have you experienced loss recently? Do you know special ways to gently ease the pain and suffering others go through as they grieve? I invite you to share with us today in the comments below any suggestions for being a blessing to someone dealing with loss. Let’s encourage each other in something that we all have to deal with at some point in our lives. May their memories and the experience we each dealt with during their passing be a stepping stone to helping someone else through their current hardship and time of loss and grief. Hugs to each of you and bless you in advance for your thoughtful sharing. 🙂

Many blessings,

Rebecca at Love2EncourageYou

*This article is in dedication and loving memory of my father. We miss you and honor you for all that you are and always will be in our lives. We love you, Daddy/Bubba.